The Updated “Drop Them Cold” Experiment

IgnoreYou may remember, for those who have been following along in this blog, that last month I was testing out a dating technique called “Drop Them Cold.” Well, 6 weeks have passed since the day I decided to bail and I still have not heard from her.

So what went wrong here in my situation? First, I think it was too late to use it on her because she is probably focused on some other guy. It happens to the best of us. Whenever two individuals start seeing each other more frequently, they kick their friends to the curb.  It’s not as if they do that on purpose. The time they used to spend with their friends is now redirected towards each other. Once a girl is extremely focused on one guy, she wouldn’t have a care in the world for other guys.

Second, she probably never cared about me anyway. That’s too bad because I invested so much time to her (3+ years) and she never gave me a chance. One of my biggest pet peeves is wasting time. Especially, when you put your heart and soul into something and nothing positive results out of it. Gosh, I HATE that so much! It’s time that I can’t buy back and I’ll always be mad about that. I wish I could take it all back.  I could have been some succesful business mogul in that same time period had I focused on myself and my personal projects instead of wasting time on her.

Finally, I believe that the techinique didn’t work because there was a bond that was missing or that wasn’t strong enough. There was not an opportunity for me to show her that I could be there for her. Two examples of this kind of bond strengthening comes from my friend and my cousin. My friend’s father passed away and she told me that her “guy” was there for her the entire time. My cousin was hospitalized after a car accident and her “guy” was at her bedside the entire time until she was discharged. Would I have gone to great lengths to show her that I could be there? I absolutely would have. See how effective the technique would be once that strong bond has been created? It would drive them crazy. They might actually end up being mad because you left for a short period of time.

I still believe that “dropping them cold” is a useful technique for people out there. What you are doing is giving the gift of “missing you.” It has to be used in the beginning of the courtship to be the most effective. You wouldn’t buy some stock at the high end of the price range when it is too late right?

So what can you readers learn from my stupid mistakes?

First, there’s a reason why there are 5 billion people in this world. When one person isn’t willing to give you a chance, don’t wait because it’s not worth it. You will just end up wasting your time and precious energy. There are others out there and remember, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BETTER! 

Second, take care of yourself first and the rest will follow. Focus on making yourself better. Learn that piano, buy that real estate investement or open up that business. Once you have your own house, nice car and other material things, girls will start to give you a chance even if you are uglier than Shrek and his wife.

Finally, a warning to those who love to say “let’s just be friends.” It doesn’t work and it only makes the guy stick around to try and prove his love to you. Then it ends up getting worse because you get annoyed and he wonders why you keep running away. So don’t say it because he is wasting his time with someone who will never give him a chance. On top of that, you are denying him an opportunity with someone who is willing to give him a chance.

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Heh, I find my reply to be funny since it does come from a guy that caught his own fiance cheating.

But you win some and you lose some in life. My consolation turns out to be very simple. The saying goes “To every action there is a consequence”, and along the same line I say “To every relationship there is a risk.”

Looking deeper into my statement I realize that in order to find out if the relationship partner is “the one” for you, then you also have to put in all your time, soul and heart into the relationship. Or else you will never find out if that person is it for you.

Accept the risk and go forth boldly knowing that you will give it your all, and if the other person does not reciprocate then you know he/she is not the one for you.

Love is a risk, take it! In therapeutic treatments there are always some drawbacks, but the benefit outweighs the risks in all cases of relationships.

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