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Loading ...The Art of Keeping Score
How cool would it be if you grew up with someone rich and famous like Bill Gates and he owed you a big favor? What if this was a favor that you remembered by keeping score? I think that many of you would agree that it is a very tempting proposition. The honest truth is that thinking in terms of keeping score will essentially lead you to disappointment in many aspects of your life.
The world is filled with people whose attitude is nothing more than “I owe you and you owe me.” You have most likely known someone in your life that lives on favors. It isn’t hard for you to figure out that someone is tallying up a total. The best way to live life is to recognize that success is gained by giving without keeping score. Keeping score will ultimately lead to failure in life.
Almost everyone on this planet has been guilty for keeping score. You may have even done so on a small scale. Let me give two examples that many of you can relate to. Have you ever been to lunch with a group of six friends and for some reason one person of the group always cheats the others when the bill comes? Then you exclude that person from the next lunch because you paid more than your fair share. How about the time your friends didn’t invite you to a party and you didn’t invite them to the next one just get back at them?
So what are the two lessons that you should learn from keeping score? The first lesson here is to let go of the scorekeeper in you. Relationships, whether they are friends, acquaintances, business contacts or romance, grow when you give without expecting anything back. The most important thing you need to know is that what you give you get back. You may not get what you really want now, but the first thing that comes back to you is that you get the reward of having done something good for someone.
Lesson number two is to make it your lifestyle to give. Giving is the key that builds real relationships, not delivering and expecting payments. Once it becomes natural to you, you will find out that you will become more successful along with your friends and contacts. You will also get to set free the obsession of scorekeeping.
So how can you start to make giving your lifestyle? It’s really all a mental approach. Try this exercise out. Begin by closing your eyes, relaxing and taking deep breaths while imagining that you no longer keep score. Now start to visualize how you might feel in your relationships, your work and your friendships without keeping score. Are you beginning to feel peaceful and sound? This is how life will feel like without all that stress. It’s just easier not to keep score.
Just because you stopped keeping score doesn’t mean that you should let yourself be taken advantage of. When you give, don’t give because you have to. Just do the things that make you feel truly good inside. Just try it for a while and then decide for yourself if this change in mindset has helped to enhance your life.
Don’t be afraid to stop scorekeeping. You will never run out of things to give. Go right ahead and spend a week or even a day giving without expectation. Enjoy the good feeling that comes with your charity. In the end, the positive karma will make your life even better than you have it now.
Tags: giving, keeping score, letting go
