First of all, let me start off my saying that if you are under 18, get a life first! What I mean is to focus on school and strive to go to college. Take that degree and cash it into a good paying job. After that, you will be ready to settle down. The odds are against you if you marry at a young age. The divorce rate is over 80% for couples married between ages 18 and 22.

Relationships are complicated and will ruin your life before then. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your 15 year old girlfriend will last until you are 24, the age when you are finally able to get married. Guess what? Things can change in 9 years time. You can’t expect people to stay the same. Also, the years between 18 and 24 are the peak times for us to find out more about ourselves.

Ok, so on with the show. Here are my top 10 tips for couples looking to remain on cloud 9.

Number 1: You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Ever heard of that expression? Being friends before lovers is a major factor in relationships. This will allow you to get to know the real person that you are dealing with, not the fake that is trying to impress you on a date. You get to cut out all the dating drama just by being able to laugh at and with each other.

Number 2: NO ONE is perfect and EVERYONE has their flaws. Some people are too tall, some people have a big nose and some people have crooked teeth. However, we have just scratched the surface. Those physical flaws pale in comparison to the personality flaws. Can you stand him leaving the toilet seat up, her being a neat freak, him not taking the trash out daily, or her talking non-stop all day? You better be able to live with that person first before you start babbling “We’re so in love, we’re a match made in heaven”. If you can find the flaws and live with them, then you have a decent chance of making the relationship work.

Number 3: Your partner doesn’t have to be filthy rich when you meet. Not many of us were lucky to be born rich like Paris Hilton. Here’s what I believe about the finance part of the relationship. If your partner is in their 30’s then yes, they better have money and be living in their own place (except if they are waiting for home prices to drop in California).

However, if you are in your early 20’s then money shouldn’t be an issue. What you should be looking for is potential. Your partner should have goals, good morals and ambition. Some great signs are: If they want to start a business, they are aiming for another degree and a higher paying job, or they are driving on the last legs of their beat up car to save money.

Number 4: Improve your communication with each other. This is another big part in making relationships work. Communication means TALKING, not using human antennas or ESP mind reading tricks. Let me give you an example of how important it is. Let’s say your guy has done something stupid, you get angry, and 10 minutes later he doesn’t why you’re upset. Then being a typical woman, you don’t want to tell him because you want him to use his psychic skills to figure out what’s the matter with you.

You could cut out all of this unnecessary tension on your relationship if you would just open up your mouth and talk. God gave you and everyone else a mouth so use it. Stop dropping hints and start acting like real adults. Game playing should be left on the playground for children. The only way a relationship will survive is if you communicate.

Number 5: Another big factor in relationships is compromise. This is one of the hardest parts of a relationship because either no one wants to give up their side or one person in the relationship is constantly giving up their side that it starts to wear them down. The last time I checked, compromising was a two way street.

You have to be willing to compromise and yet, you can’t be the one making all the compromises either. If you keep making all the compromises and it is seemingly one-sided, then just say goodbye to the relationship. Don’t think that when you two get married things will change. The odds are that they won’t. Better work out all the compromises before tying the knot.

Number 6: Give each other breathing room and space. Hanging out with each other 24/7 will only bring about the Law of Diminishing Returns. For the girls, this means letting him hang out with his guy buddies for a few nights a week. For the guys, this means letting her hang out with her lady friends to go shopping. We all need breaks from each other. Hell, I yearn for breaks from my grandma sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with getting out of the house once in awhile and giving you time to miss each other. At the same instance, it is important to set aside time for just the two of you to enjoy being with each other. It’s good to be comfortable with and without each other.

Number 7: On to the physical part of the relationship. There are two things that I want to say about it. First, I admit, it is important in a relationship because without it, a marriage will just wilt away without the passion. I personally believe that you should wait until you are married. But of course my opinion means nothing in this world.

I have heard sex being compared to test driving cars before settling on one to purchase. However, we all know that even after test driving a car there are more features that we have to take into consideration. Same goes with a relationship because there is more to it than just sex.

The other part I want to say about sex is that you better make sure that you don’t become passionate with someone before getting to know them emotionally. There needs to be an emotional bond that exists first that will make sex take your relationship to another level. Getting physical before getting to know someone can be a very dangerous situation that you put yourself in emotionally, physically and mentally.

Number 8: You have a choice as to which partner you would like to take a chance with. I believe that you can love more than one person and that there isn’t just the “ONE” person for everyone. Yes, we all hope and pray to end up with the first one, but how many of us really are lucky to end up with our firsts?

You could try to make love work with a number of people. I think that there are about 5 to 10 people on this earth that you could do that with. We’ve been given free will and it is up to us to choose who we want to make love work with.

This is why when a widowed lady loses her spouse, she can get remarried and still love her second husband just like the first one. Only this time, the love is a bit different. Another example is if things don’t work out in your current relationship, you are always entitled to a choice to love someone else, although it will never be the same as the last one.

Number 9: Show some respect to your partner. There are many times in relationships where I see couples criticize the other person’s flaws in front of other people. It is important to realize that your partner deserves just as much respect as you do. You should be able to talk about decisions and respect each other. However, if you truly don’t agree with something, then speak out about it. Don’t become degrading and start insulting your partner because this is going to end up destroying your relationship.

Number 10: I don’t believe that there is such a thing as relationship bliss. All relationships are is hard work and sacrifice. There are always unexpected events that happen in every relationship. The great thing about them is that they are tests necessary to help understand each other better. If you can make it through the tough times and learn to laugh and support each other, then you will have built a strong relationship.

Did I mention that there is one benefit to having a long distance relationship? It puts money into the pockets of big airline corporations such as Virgin Atlantic, gas stations like Chevron and big phone companies like Verizon. They thank you very much for your business. Unfortunately for couples, there are no benefits for being in a long distance relationship. There is as enormous complexity of factors involved that make it difficult.

Let me tell you about the story of John and Jane. John lives in Los Angeles and Jane lives in New York. They both met at a party when Jane was in town on a business trip. The first problem that the two have is which one is the person that is going to be moving? Is either person willing to sacrifice their job or career for perhaps a lower pay or standard of living? What about leaving friends and family behind? If Jane is not moving to LA and John is not moving to New York, then why are they talking at all?

The second problem is that long distance relationships give a false sense of hope to one another. It may appear to raise each other’s interest level, but in reality, it doesn’t. It is the anticipation of meeting again that causes the interest to rise, creating a false sense of love. Any time your partner calls, you jump at the chance to talk. You never put her on hold or tell her that you’re too busy with something else right now. Everything in your life gets put on hold to give her all of your attention.

The third problem that you have is that you can’t bond if you’re not around. There is a saying that “actions speak louder than words.” You develop trust and comfort with that person when you are spending time together doing things. It allows you to see their personality, how the person reacts and how the person treats you. You can only judge a person’s interest through their actions and body language which you obviously can’t see in a LDR. Romance and love is by and large non-verbal, from the way you look at each other to the simple hugs given at the right moment when you need them. So what is the point of seeing each other every 3 or 6 months?

Problem number four is trying to make up for the distance by talking on the phone way too much. How does talking four or five times on a daily basis allow a relationship to build? Would you believe someone that is thousands of miles away who kept saying “I love you”! It’s all talk and a phone call is definitely a poor substitute for a hug.

How about the 50 emails you send her everyday or the hours you spend instant messaging? What good does that do to building the relationship? But at the end, what do you really find out about that person? Did you go to their house? Did you see how she treats their parents or siblings? Maybe you did go to their place for a weekend. But yeah, you could have gone on a good day where she didn’t treat her parents the way she usually does. Since you never see each other in normal day to day life, you lack the true knowledge of the other person and that is where the big problem lies.

The fifth problem is that it is a waste of money. Depending on where you are flying to and from, you can be spending thousands of dollars per year to see each other (and the false hope also). You may be going over your minutes and end up racking up $400 dollars per month phone bills. What about buying phone cards for international calls on a monthly basis? You may end up spending hundreds of dollars per year purchasing them. All this wasted money can be spent on building a relationship with someone who is close by.

Finally, It is a waste of time waiting for someone that is thousands of miles away. The fact is that no relationship, near of far, is 100% guaranteed. But the mere attempt at a long distance relationship increases the odds close to 100% that it is NOT going to work.

So what makes you think that your long distance love is going to be a hermit once he/she has committed to you? Most likely they won’t be. They still have to go to work, go shopping, stop by the bank and go to the gym. Thus, they will be meeting others too, increasing the likelihood that they will meet someone that is better than you. If you are not there, then they have to fill that void with someone else. It’s just the basic human need to be with others.

For John and Jane, their expectations of each other are skyrocketing even though they haven’t seen each other in months. However, when they do get together as an exclusive couple, they would just end up at the start because they are really strangers to each other. The phone company AT&T almost had it right. Reach out but this time, don’t touch someone.

Ah, you know Valentines day is around the corner when you walk down the seasonal section of your local Walgreens store. The entire aisle is fully decorated with the latest wall paper, stuffed animals and candy. It is the one day out of the year that all the chocolate factories, floral shops and Victoria’s Secret stores can boost sales and earn themselves millions in extra profits. All these companies know one secret fact about couples out there - that there are billions of lovers in this world.

Yes, it may be true that there are billions of lovers in this world. But the real truth is that there isn’t enough love in this world. There isn’t enough love for ourselves, for our significant others or for others in this world. The love that a couple shares may just last a mere week, 6 months or a year and a half. Divorce rates in this country are high and compassion for one another is low. After the love flames out, the break up occurs and then it is off to the next person. This is just like a bee pollinating one flower and then heading toward the next one. Only this time the bee moves on to the next flower faster.

What does it mean to love someone? It means that both individuals have brought to the table all the factors that will make the relationships work. Some of the important components of a loving relationship are trust, respect, faithfulness and hard work. The hard work is required to keep the relationship happy. Many couples do not realize that once they agree to be exclusive, that is when the real work begins. Love is the culmination of the different elements working optimally as one. So how can you show more love in a relationship?

First of all, you have to begin by loving yourself first.  We have to learn to appreciate our strong points and work on our weaknesses. What qualities about yourself are you most proud of? What traits can you bring to the table that will nourish your relationships? Once you have learned to love everything about yourself, you will then be able to love someone else and extend that love to your kids and neighbors.

Next, build the trust that you have for one another. There is a saying out there that says “without trust, there is no love.” Love with complete trust always lasts longer than love without it. Differences in each other’s lifestyles can contribute to the loss of trust.

Let me give you two examples. First, there are couples in a relationship where one is very tight with money and the other is a free spender. Second, there are couples where one is a neat freak and the other lives like a dirty pig. Do those two scenarios sound familiar? The way to build trust is to accept each other for who they are. That way, the differences actually make up for the qualities that we lack.

Finally, build respect for one another. Respect almost goes hand in hand with trust. This is as simple as accepting one another for who they are. Being different is what makes people special in this world. You need to realize that your partner’s feelings are just as important as yours are and that they deserve to be treated well. Respect is built when you don’t discriminate or bully your partner.

Love is learning from each others mistakes and solving problems if they ever arise. Every battle and hardship that a couple experiences and conquers will ultimately display more love. When you begin to show real love, you will realize that it will make the world a better place. After all, that’s what we are really celebrating Valentines Day for. So let’s start showing more love beginning on Valentines Day and continue doing that for the rest of the year.