First of all, let me start off my saying that if you are under 18, get a life first! What I mean is to focus on school and strive to go to college. Take that degree and cash it into a good paying job. After that, you will be ready to settle down. The odds are against you if you marry at a young age. The divorce rate is over 80% for couples married between ages 18 and 22.

Relationships are complicated and will ruin your life before then. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your 15 year old girlfriend will last until you are 24, the age when you are finally able to get married. Guess what? Things can change in 9 years time. You can’t expect people to stay the same. Also, the years between 18 and 24 are the peak times for us to find out more about ourselves.

Ok, so on with the show. Here are my top 10 tips for couples looking to remain on cloud 9.

Number 1: You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Ever heard of that expression? Being friends before lovers is a major factor in relationships. This will allow you to get to know the real person that you are dealing with, not the fake that is trying to impress you on a date. You get to cut out all the dating drama just by being able to laugh at and with each other.

Number 2: NO ONE is perfect and EVERYONE has their flaws. Some people are too tall, some people have a big nose and some people have crooked teeth. However, we have just scratched the surface. Those physical flaws pale in comparison to the personality flaws. Can you stand him leaving the toilet seat up, her being a neat freak, him not taking the trash out daily, or her talking non-stop all day? You better be able to live with that person first before you start babbling “We’re so in love, we’re a match made in heaven”. If you can find the flaws and live with them, then you have a decent chance of making the relationship work.

Number 3: Your partner doesn’t have to be filthy rich when you meet. Not many of us were lucky to be born rich like Paris Hilton. Here’s what I believe about the finance part of the relationship. If your partner is in their 30’s then yes, they better have money and be living in their own place (except if they are waiting for home prices to drop in California).

However, if you are in your early 20’s then money shouldn’t be an issue. What you should be looking for is potential. Your partner should have goals, good morals and ambition. Some great signs are: If they want to start a business, they are aiming for another degree and a higher paying job, or they are driving on the last legs of their beat up car to save money.

Number 4: Improve your communication with each other. This is another big part in making relationships work. Communication means TALKING, not using human antennas or ESP mind reading tricks. Let me give you an example of how important it is. Let’s say your guy has done something stupid, you get angry, and 10 minutes later he doesn’t why you’re upset. Then being a typical woman, you don’t want to tell him because you want him to use his psychic skills to figure out what’s the matter with you.

You could cut out all of this unnecessary tension on your relationship if you would just open up your mouth and talk. God gave you and everyone else a mouth so use it. Stop dropping hints and start acting like real adults. Game playing should be left on the playground for children. The only way a relationship will survive is if you communicate.

Number 5: Another big factor in relationships is compromise. This is one of the hardest parts of a relationship because either no one wants to give up their side or one person in the relationship is constantly giving up their side that it starts to wear them down. The last time I checked, compromising was a two way street.

You have to be willing to compromise and yet, you can’t be the one making all the compromises either. If you keep making all the compromises and it is seemingly one-sided, then just say goodbye to the relationship. Don’t think that when you two get married things will change. The odds are that they won’t. Better work out all the compromises before tying the knot.

Number 6: Give each other breathing room and space. Hanging out with each other 24/7 will only bring about the Law of Diminishing Returns. For the girls, this means letting him hang out with his guy buddies for a few nights a week. For the guys, this means letting her hang out with her lady friends to go shopping. We all need breaks from each other. Hell, I yearn for breaks from my grandma sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with getting out of the house once in awhile and giving you time to miss each other. At the same instance, it is important to set aside time for just the two of you to enjoy being with each other. It’s good to be comfortable with and without each other.

Number 7: On to the physical part of the relationship. There are two things that I want to say about it. First, I admit, it is important in a relationship because without it, a marriage will just wilt away without the passion. I personally believe that you should wait until you are married. But of course my opinion means nothing in this world.

I have heard sex being compared to test driving cars before settling on one to purchase. However, we all know that even after test driving a car there are more features that we have to take into consideration. Same goes with a relationship because there is more to it than just sex.

The other part I want to say about sex is that you better make sure that you don’t become passionate with someone before getting to know them emotionally. There needs to be an emotional bond that exists first that will make sex take your relationship to another level. Getting physical before getting to know someone can be a very dangerous situation that you put yourself in emotionally, physically and mentally.

Number 8: You have a choice as to which partner you would like to take a chance with. I believe that you can love more than one person and that there isn’t just the “ONE” person for everyone. Yes, we all hope and pray to end up with the first one, but how many of us really are lucky to end up with our firsts?

You could try to make love work with a number of people. I think that there are about 5 to 10 people on this earth that you could do that with. We’ve been given free will and it is up to us to choose who we want to make love work with.

This is why when a widowed lady loses her spouse, she can get remarried and still love her second husband just like the first one. Only this time, the love is a bit different. Another example is if things don’t work out in your current relationship, you are always entitled to a choice to love someone else, although it will never be the same as the last one.

Number 9: Show some respect to your partner. There are many times in relationships where I see couples criticize the other person’s flaws in front of other people. It is important to realize that your partner deserves just as much respect as you do. You should be able to talk about decisions and respect each other. However, if you truly don’t agree with something, then speak out about it. Don’t become degrading and start insulting your partner because this is going to end up destroying your relationship.

Number 10: I don’t believe that there is such a thing as relationship bliss. All relationships are is hard work and sacrifice. There are always unexpected events that happen in every relationship. The great thing about them is that they are tests necessary to help understand each other better. If you can make it through the tough times and learn to laugh and support each other, then you will have built a strong relationship.

This principle can be applied to practically any situation in real life. Let me give you a few examples. If you love ice cream, then this law will explain that on your fifth serving of Dryer’s Rocky Road, you eventually will no longer be happy with it. In fact you may become sick of that flavor and despise it.

Another example of this law in effect is in regards to relationships.  The thrills, excitement  and butterflies that you get from your partner decreases the more that you are in contact with them. There have been studies done which show that romantic love only lasts at most 18 months. No wonder couples complain of falling out of love.

Love is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Most people never see the thorns that lie in the blooming of love. The world has seen many relationships where love blossoms and where love goes sour. In the beginning of the relationship, the feeling is amazing. If you were to poll people, most would say that being in love is the best feeling they have ever felt.

However, months later, the Law of Diminishing Returns will cause the love to fade away. This is the time when couples start to see faults in one another. This is the same person in the beginning who they were in love with and that they would spend the rest of each other’s life with. Instead of saying “I have a reason to live now”, they are saying “I have a reason to die now.”

This law also applies to the heroin addict who has to take larger and larger doses just to experience the same high that he got for the very first time. In this case, the more drug the addict took, the less pleasure he got from it. This eventually will lead the addict to taking so much drug that he will eventually overdose from it.

In each of these examples, happiness is affected mostly at the beginning. After a certain level has been achieved (I have satisfied my ice cream craving or I found the love of my life), additional gains (eating more ice cream or spending more time with your love) makes less and less difference to happiness. Happiness is achieved when the basic needs are met rather than when the maximal needs met.

So how can you keep the Law of Diminishing Returns from ruining your happy existence? Unfortunately in life, the saying that “nothing lasts forever” is true. The only exception perhaps is that of a diamond. Yeah, for some reason those seem to last forever.

First, you need to keep in mind that almost anything that can bring you pleasure or happiness is subject to the “Law of Diminishing Returns.” That’s just the way life works. Get in the habit to train yourself in recognizing when the Law is in effect.

For example, let’s say you already finished your second cup of coffee. You are now feeling hyper, restless and agitated. Learn to recognize those signs so that you will not go for the third cup of coffee.

Second, once you become skilled at recognizing the signs of the “Law”, you need to learn to pull back no matter how hard it is for you to do. If you are in a budding relationship, it is important to take it slow as falling too fast will ensure that the “Law of Diminishing Returns” will happen.

In the previous example of the cups of coffee, even if you love drinking coffee and have a hard time giving it up, you need to pull back from drinking more as the benefits will start to diminish. Remember to stop doing things when they give you less and less value in return.

Finally, realize that there are other needs in your life that need to be met. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You eventually will become bored with it. Know when to stop and participate in other activities that will give you value in return.

For example, you can’t surf the internet all day and expect not to become bored to death with it. The value of happiness of your time on the internet has gone down. This is time where you bow out and participate in other events that will give you value.

Another example is when you have spent 24/7 in close contact with your special love. Eventually the “law” occurs and the happiness of being close diminishes. This is the perfect opportunity for the both of you to have a girls night out to go shopping or a guys night out having a drink and watching a game.

Indeed, you can have too much of a good thing. Hopefully you will be able to recognize the signs and that you do have the power to change it.