photo credit: LivyAnn

Romantic date ideas come naturally for some of you. For most others, we need lessons in romance. The fact is that we just don’t know how to be romantic. It isn’t because we shy away from it.

Nevertheless, dating idea help is on the way. The following 3 ideas you are about to discover will surely help you win the heart of the one you love. These ideas can also be used as a valentine’s day idea. Be prepared to impress your new date or long term sweetie with an amazing experience using these romance tips.

1: Fun night.

Turn your date into a night of entertainment. You and your sweetheart can play classic board games such as Monopoly and Life or card games such as Uno. If you are more into the latest technology, then play video games with each other.

These games are the build up to a romantic evening as you can wind down and watch a movie. Go make yourself some delicious popcorn to share with your sweetheart. While watching the movie, sit close and cuddle up. The competition in the games earlier creates a unique bond between the two of you.

2: Dine in.

Turn your place into a romantic dinner. There is nothing more romantic than having a candle light dinner at your own table. You create the delicious food and go all out to set the mood. You can put pretty flowers into a beautiful vase to place on the table. You should also shower, smell good and dress to impress. Include a small bottle of wine with your table decorations.

Have soft and romantic music playing while you eat. Compose a small message on nice stationary paper for them to read. Let them know how special they are to you. Most important of all, make sure this is a total surprise so be careful not to say anything prior to dinner.

3: Dine out.

We are not talking about going to a restaurant. An outdoor picnic is just the surprise you need for your sweetheart. It may even be better than 10 romantic gifts. Outdoor picnics are old fashioned and go back to the times when life was much more simpler. You can prepare an outdoor picnic for breakfast or for lunch. You can possibly make dinner if the area you live in has light all day round.

You do not need to make it anything fancy. A simple tuna sandwich will do just fine. Make sure you plan the location accordingly and try to choose a place that is close to water or has a great view. Look for a place that will provide you with loads of privacy where you can sweet talk with your partner. Also bring a blanket that the two of you can sit on. If you can make the outdoor picnic a surprise, then you have a romantic event set up perfectly for you.

Did I mention that there is one benefit to having a long distance relationship? It puts money into the pockets of big airline corporations such as Virgin Atlantic, gas stations like Chevron and big phone companies like Verizon. They thank you very much for your business. Unfortunately for couples, there are no benefits for being in a long distance relationship. There is as enormous complexity of factors involved that make it difficult.

Let me tell you about the story of John and Jane. John lives in Los Angeles and Jane lives in New York. They both met at a party when Jane was in town on a business trip. The first problem that the two have is which one is the person that is going to be moving? Is either person willing to sacrifice their job or career for perhaps a lower pay or standard of living? What about leaving friends and family behind? If Jane is not moving to LA and John is not moving to New York, then why are they talking at all?

The second problem is that long distance relationships give a false sense of hope to one another. It may appear to raise each other’s interest level, but in reality, it doesn’t. It is the anticipation of meeting again that causes the interest to rise, creating a false sense of love. Any time your partner calls, you jump at the chance to talk. You never put her on hold or tell her that you’re too busy with something else right now. Everything in your life gets put on hold to give her all of your attention.

The third problem that you have is that you can’t bond if you’re not around. There is a saying that “actions speak louder than words.” You develop trust and comfort with that person when you are spending time together doing things. It allows you to see their personality, how the person reacts and how the person treats you. You can only judge a person’s interest through their actions and body language which you obviously can’t see in a LDR. Romance and love is by and large non-verbal, from the way you look at each other to the simple hugs given at the right moment when you need them. So what is the point of seeing each other every 3 or 6 months?

Problem number four is trying to make up for the distance by talking on the phone way too much. How does talking four or five times on a daily basis allow a relationship to build? Would you believe someone that is thousands of miles away who kept saying “I love you”! It’s all talk and a phone call is definitely a poor substitute for a hug.

How about the 50 emails you send her everyday or the hours you spend instant messaging? What good does that do to building the relationship? But at the end, what do you really find out about that person? Did you go to their house? Did you see how she treats their parents or siblings? Maybe you did go to their place for a weekend. But yeah, you could have gone on a good day where she didn’t treat her parents the way she usually does. Since you never see each other in normal day to day life, you lack the true knowledge of the other person and that is where the big problem lies.

The fifth problem is that it is a waste of money. Depending on where you are flying to and from, you can be spending thousands of dollars per year to see each other (and the false hope also). You may be going over your minutes and end up racking up $400 dollars per month phone bills. What about buying phone cards for international calls on a monthly basis? You may end up spending hundreds of dollars per year purchasing them. All this wasted money can be spent on building a relationship with someone who is close by.

Finally, It is a waste of time waiting for someone that is thousands of miles away. The fact is that no relationship, near of far, is 100% guaranteed. But the mere attempt at a long distance relationship increases the odds close to 100% that it is NOT going to work.

So what makes you think that your long distance love is going to be a hermit once he/she has committed to you? Most likely they won’t be. They still have to go to work, go shopping, stop by the bank and go to the gym. Thus, they will be meeting others too, increasing the likelihood that they will meet someone that is better than you. If you are not there, then they have to fill that void with someone else. It’s just the basic human need to be with others.

For John and Jane, their expectations of each other are skyrocketing even though they haven’t seen each other in months. However, when they do get together as an exclusive couple, they would just end up at the start because they are really strangers to each other. The phone company AT&T almost had it right. Reach out but this time, don’t touch someone.

So what went wrong here in my situation? First, I think it was too late to use it on her because she is probably focused on some other guy. It happens to the best of us. Whenever two individuals start seeing each other more frequently, they kick their friends to the curb.  It’s not as if they do that on purpose. The time they used to spend with their friends is now redirected towards each other. Once a girl is extremely focused on one guy, she wouldn’t have a care in the world for other guys.

Second, she probably never cared about me anyway. That’s too bad because I invested so much time to her (3+ years) and she never gave me a chance. One of my biggest pet peeves is wasting time. Especially, when you put your heart and soul into something and nothing positive results out of it. Gosh, I HATE that so much! It’s time that I can’t buy back and I’ll always be mad about that. I wish I could take it all back.  I could have been some succesful business mogul in that same time period had I focused on myself and my personal projects instead of wasting time on her.

Finally, I believe that the techinique didn’t work because there was a bond that was missing or that wasn’t strong enough. There was not an opportunity for me to show her that I could be there for her. Two examples of this kind of bond strengthening comes from my friend and my cousin. My friend’s father passed away and she told me that her “guy” was there for her the entire time. My cousin was hospitalized after a car accident and her “guy” was at her bedside the entire time until she was discharged. Would I have gone to great lengths to show her that I could be there? I absolutely would have. See how effective the technique would be once that strong bond has been created? It would drive them crazy. They might actually end up being mad because you left for a short period of time.

I still believe that “dropping them cold” is a useful technique for people out there. What you are doing is giving the gift of “missing you.” It has to be used in the beginning of the courtship to be the most effective. You wouldn’t buy some stock at the high end of the price range when it is too late right?

So what can you readers learn from my stupid mistakes?

First, there’s a reason why there are 5 billion people in this world. When one person isn’t willing to give you a chance, don’t wait because it’s not worth it. You will just end up wasting your time and precious energy. There are others out there and remember, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BETTER! 

Second, take care of yourself first and the rest will follow. Focus on making yourself better. Learn that piano, buy that real estate investement or open up that business. Once you have your own house, nice car and other material things, girls will start to give you a chance even if you are uglier than Shrek and his wife.

Finally, a warning to those who love to say “let’s just be friends.” It doesn’t work and it only makes the guy stick around to try and prove his love to you. Then it ends up getting worse because you get annoyed and he wonders why you keep running away. So don’t say it because he is wasting his time with someone who will never give him a chance. On top of that, you are denying him an opportunity with someone who is willing to give him a chance.

I don’t know about you but I am tired of spending every weekend at home with no one by my side. The holidays haven’t help much as those holiday blues just make me end up feeling worse. It’s the same old every holiday.  Downing 10 bottles of vodka, seeing the same relatives and hearing the same stupid Viagra jokes. I always wonder to myself, ”Which caves are all the good ones hiding at?”

So, you’ve tried the bar and club scene and are tired of it huh? Perhaps you are a retired club scene person. Most of us think we’ll never meet somebody great in these places and you are 100% correct. But why do we keep going back anyway? I guess it’s because we all think that there aren’t any better alternatives.

But guess what? There are great places to meet people. So forget the club and bar scene and check out these awesome places. These are the places that you want to be to meet some fabulous people. The neat thing about them is that many of them have little or no competition. How do you like them apples?

The gold mines for guys are:
Shoe stores: These places are jam packed with women. Just go up to the nearest unattached female and ask her to help you pick out a new pair of shoes. See where it goes from there.

Bookstores: This is another great place to meet women. They love reading, especially at the magazine section. Also try hanging out at the coffee shop area of the bookstore. This is the place to be if you’re interested in dating someone with brains.

Museums: These places are full of women that are there to either admire the beauty of the paintings or to study them at a deeper level. Read up on the main attractions before you head out so that you have something to talk about.

The gold mine for gals are:
The driving range: Guys are crazy about golf these days thanks to Tiger Woods. Spend an afternoon in the sun swinging at a bucket full of golf balls. Men especially go crazy over women who can swing a mean club.

Music Clubs: Get together with your girlfriends for a night of music at a club for local bands. The guys are all up there on the stage for you. The only drawback to this place is that the atmosphere may be too loud for you to hold a conversation. Start a converstaiton with them by letting them know what a great song they just played.

Car Shows: Guys love their cars as much as they do their women. All this has spawned the Fast and the Furious movies. The best part about this place is that you don’t need to know much about cars. Just go up and give them a nice compliment about their car!

For everybody:

Your friend’s company picnic or party: This is a great place to meet people. Pair up with another single friend and go have fun at his/her company’s party. These events are social, and in addition, you know everybody there has a job and isn’t standing in the unemployment line.

Volunteer work: Check out the volunteer groups just for singles. Not only are you helping to make the world a better place, you are increasing your chances of meeting like-minded individuals.

This is a list of more great places to meet potentials:
The casinos of Las Vegas or Atlantic City.
The beach: Any beach around the world will do.
Business conferences.
Outdoor concerts and festivals.
Church and church events: Another gold mine of both guys and girls
College or adult education classes.
Music stores (or whatever is left of it since the internet has killed them)
So what are you waiting for? Go out there and find “The One

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles when you are done reading. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.

1. Using vulgar language. This should be cut out of your vocabulary at least for the night. Chicks may dig the long ball, but not the vulgar language. Try not to be Bruce Willis’ Die Hard character John McClane (Yipee Kai Yay…you know the rest!). Cool for the movies, but not in real life. It is a turn off to women because they want a man that is classy and this is one of the ways to show that you are.

2. Having no sense of humor. Even though her jokes aren’t funny, laugh at them anyway. Tease your date like you were at the school playground. I used to tease my tall date frequently. I would tell her that she isn’t tall enough to go out with me. Then I’d call her next time and ask, “Did you grow taller yet?” I still miss that girl, because she was the only one that I found that always laughed at my jokes. Even if your date is sarcastic, come back with another sarcastic line.

 3. Having poor conversation skills. So how’s the weather? What do you do for a living? How many brothers and sisters do you have? No! No! No! See how boring these conversations are. Your date will be yearning for the night to be over in no time. Instead, work on your conversation skills. Ask her about something else that she can describe like her shoes, jewelry, nails, purse. Once you get her talking, she will go on and on without stopping. Just listen intently and ask questions from the stories that she is telling you.

4. Having poor table manners. Slurping soup, eating fast and talking with your mouth full are just some of the ways that you can turn off your date with your bad table manners. Also, don’t forget to serve her first or offer her some of your food. Try playing around with her by trying to feed her.

5.  Being chronically late.  Your date may forgive you for the first time but others won’t. How often does a business hire an employee who was late for their interview?  Almost never! So just remember, if you are late, give them a call and let them know how long before you are going to arrive.

6. Being forgetfull. Try to remember what your date says and take an interest in it. For example, she told you on your last date that she doesn’t drink. On this date she just finished this funny story about how her friend got drunk in Vegas. You then proceed to ask her,”Did you drink?” You just set off the big bomb!

7. Having opposite tastes. This can be anything from the music you listen to, to the books she reads and the movies she watches. So how can you avoid this? There is a technique called mirroring. Basically, it is a technique where you agree that you have something in common. For example, she says,”Oh, I love that movie Serendipity!” Just go along with her and tell her that you love that movie too (even though you hate it).

8. Wearing bad wardrobe. Ok, all you have to remember is the famous saying: “Dress to impress.” Sorry to break this secret to you but, women are just as into looks as guys are. So if you want the date to go well, you better look like a million bucks. You also better be good at matching colors as this goes hand in hand with dressing well.

9. Having a bad haircut. You don’t have to have the hair style of Fabio. But at least have a hairstyle that is decent. Try not to have something too out of the ordinary like a mohawk. If that happens, I suggest you fire the hair cutter from  supercuts and have him practice on your shaggy dog.

10. Having opposing political views. The only way to avoid this is to not talk about it. Politics is a very sensitive issue so don’t go there.

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles when you are done reading. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.

Although Macaroni Grill is one of the coolest restaurants in the country, I can’t help but be traumatized by it every time I pass by one. You see, there was this Macaroni Grill that was 20 minutes from my house. It was supposed to be a date and it turned into a nightmare. I will never forget it. I heard those bad words from her (let’s just be friends) and it turned my world upside down. The worse part was the drive home because it was 20 minutes of PURE SILENCE. I couldn’t drive faster because I was going over the speed limit already. It was torture and all I could think of was that I was just rejected.

That night, my sister asked how the date went. I told her that it was horrible. She then made it worse by telling me something that all guys hate to hear. She said, “No worries, you’re a nice guy. The right girl will come along one of these days.” That was the day that the nice guy in me died forever.I can honestly say after that incident 3 years ago, I have control over my dating life in the way that I want. I’m sure many of you guys who are reading this can relate to my story. I want to let you know that I’ve been there before and it isn’t a great feeling. If I can change for the better, you can too. This is how I kicked Mr. Nice Guy out to the street for good.

1) First of all, you have to be like the army. They send troops to enemy lines in hopes of finding out what they know. Like they say at the end of each G.I. Joe cartoon episode, “Knowing is half the battle!” What I’m trying to say is that you need to know how chicks think, especially about nice guys.

This is a list of what a GUY thinks they should act like: always be nice to her, call her often, become a weakling around her, let her make all the decisions, tell her your feelings too early in the relationship, put your needs before her and listens to her problems.

What a woman really wants is: a confident guy around her, one that knows how to flirt, is a challenge, takes the lead, knows when to admit those feelings, is humorous and leaves time and space for himself.

2) The #1 pick in the 2007 draft is…the jerk. It’s amazing how the jerk gets the women all of the time. Nice guys better get used to this fact of life. Women don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy. If we were to get picked at all, it would be in the 103rd round of the draft. Women will never choose the nice guy as #1 no matter how much you try to beg, explain and kiss butt to a woman.

The great thing is, I’ve sent the troops over to enemy lines already! The report back is opposite of what nice guys think. Don’t believe me? Just keep doing the same things from the previous “guys” list and prepare for many long, lonely winters. If you are a nice guy with women and you aren’t willing to change, then you can pretty much guarantee 100% that you will always struggle with women. So just change ok??

3) Meet Me Halfway. Just like the famous song by Kenny Loggins from the movie Over The Top. What you want to do is have a personality that lands between being a nice guy and being a jerk. Don’t be afraid to groom your personality into one that women find irresistible and attractive. This is for your own good and women will love you for it. Just stop with the dumb excuses like: I want women to like me for who I am, It’s against my morals and  I’m afraid of bad karma if I change. Oh please!!

Nice guys need to become a great guy with added swagger. Since you are already a nice guy, most likely you are already a great guy. Now, we have to work on developing that swagger. A great guy with added swagger is a nice guy who also showcases the behaviors, actions and personality traits that women are attracted to such as: Confidence, humor and flirting. Work on these traits and women will start flocking to you like a wolf on a herd of sheep.

Just remember the fact that women generally don’t want nice guys or maybe they’re too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Also, remember to meet halfway. Be good to women but remember that you come first in your life, then your family, your friends and your girlfriend in that order. Good luck!

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.

You’ve seen it time and time again in those chick flicks. The guy gives all his heart for the majority of the movie to some girl that takes him for granted. Then, the guy leaves for good and that’s when the girl realizes that she made a mistake and comes running back. This happened to one of my friends in real life. He pursued this one girl like there was no tommorrow. That girl was utterly annoyed and got what she wanted, which was for him to leave her alone. Well, after a few months, guess what happened? That girl came back more appreciative and responsive because she realized how horrible life was without him.

Ok, so I am probably going to get some readers riled up about this technique because they will think that I am playing games and trying to manipulate chicks. Well, to rebute that statement, I think it is fair to play games since girls do that just as much as guys do. With that said, I think it is time to even up the score.

This is the experiment that I will update at a future article. Basically, there is this girl that I have known for almost 4 years now.  I pursued her like no tommorrow too and she knew how I felt about her. But after asking her twice she still would not give me a chance. So I dropped her cold since this past September. Her birthday is this weekend and I am planning not to email, text, call, mail a card or give her a present. I have done something for her each of the last 3 birthdays so she knows that I know what day her birthday is. Stay tuned to see how this techinque did for me.

Saga To Be Continued…

UPDATED: Saga continues here.

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.

The types of dates that you have to go on are ones that allow you to do things together. This builds up the trust and bonding faster than a traditional dinner and a movie. Also, by doing activities together, your date will start to associate you with being fun and not boring. Here is a list of 20 dates that you can do to start building that relationship:

1) Try some sort of dancing together such as ballroom, salsa or swing. This is the second closest you can get to your partner!

2) Go golfing. You can even teach your partner how to swing by standing closely behind him/her while holding the golf club together.

3) Play a game of tennis.

4) Swimming. Race each other in the pool and see who is the fastest.

5) Horseback riding.

6) Walks or jogs in the park or beach.

7) Camping.

8) Arts and crafts. Go and make a pot or bowl with your partner. Make a scrapbook together.

9) Learn a language together. There are many beautiful languages out there!

10) Go hiking on your favorite trail, especially if it has a waterfall. Those make for beautiful pictures.

11) Go wine tasting and get drunk together. Who knows what will happen after this!

12) Visit the zoo and take pictures with the animals. Just beware of the lions, tigers and bears.

13) Spend an afternoon at a museum or art gallery. There should be many statues and paintings that the both of you can talk about.

14) Visit a botanical garden. Check out the beautiful gardens and buildings there.

15) Go bicycling or skating together.

16) Fly kites together.

17) Have a picnic or a barbecue.

18) Cook a meal or maybe a dessert together.

19) Put a sleeping bag out in the back yard and watch the night sky through binoculars.

20) Solve a crossword/wordsearch puzzle together or play board games. Connect Four has been one of my personal favorite board games to play with.

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.

I believe that there are 2 reasons as to why traditional dating is not very successful.  First of all, two people are put under enormous pressure to find out about each other, often in front of dinner. They have about 2 hours to decide if they want to continue seeing each other. How in the world are you going to make a decision just based on 2 hours? There is no possible way to know a person just in one night.  Now that leads to my second point. When two people go out on a date, it is usually all pretend since they are there to make a good first impression. Even if one decides to date that person again, the decision was based on the “fake” show that the other put on. Heck! Do you think that in 6 months, the guy will continue to open the doors for her?

 What I do believe in is a different kind of dating. One that actually involves being friends first and finding out about each other. I like to call it “Atypical” dating. The beauty of this kind of dating is that you get to find out about your potential partner without the pressure and without all the fake acting. Ever heard some girl tell you “I’ve never seen that side of him” or “I never thought he was capable of it”? The reason that this happens is because of all the pretending and acting that is going on in the beginning that causes it. Then after the honeymoon period of 6 months or so, the real person starts to come out. By starting off as friends, you skip the entire fake act and you get to know the real person right from the beginning. As the saying goes,”Best friends make the best lovers”!

My next article will tell you about the best things the both of you can do that will help you bond together faster.

Please feel free to leave comments and feedback on any of my articles. In addition, tell me what other personal development topics you want to hear about. Thanks.